Sunday, October 10, 2010
Retrospect
It's been more than a month since Terrance disappeared to Canada land. Honestly, when I stop and think, I can't help but ask "WTF IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH?!?!?!!?!?! IT FEELS LIKE FRICKIN FOREVER!" And honestly, it really does seem feel like forever.
But I'm waiting still. I'm waiting and feeling like all I can do is wait.
He is definitely coming back and he isn' t going to be gone for that long and I know all of that. I know I have it better than the couples who are separated for several years but that doesn't diminish my longing a single bit, doesn't make me any less insecure or paranoid and it doesn't mean my feelings are any less justified.
Generally, I am okay. Don't be foolish enough to think for one single second that I do not miss Terrance. I do, I do all the time. (I will chuck something hard at anyone who asks that ridiculous question.) But I am okay. The thing is, sometimes people unexpectedly say something that amplify his absence. Like today, it was my niece's one year birthday celebration at my brother's place and my brother asked me where Terrance was. (and for some reason calling him Lawrence at first. I don't know why but both my Mom and Brother have called him that. Adding to the hilarity, my second brother heard it as FLORENCE. O.o what is wrong with my family!?)
At that moment, I was more peeved that my brother had gotten Terrance's name wrong but much later, I began to really feel his absence. I don't know why but I guess the last time it was my niece's first month, he was there too but this time he isn't cos he is in dear old Canada.
The thing about Terrance is that he generally doesn't plaster his Love all over facebook or anywhere else for that matter. We barely have any photos together and those we do, we hide them somewhere in secret and they never see the light of day. :D Actually, we don't take photos when we're out together. I don't know why, especially with me being the world's greatest camwhore. But mostly, taking photos seem out of place or maybe we just never got into the habit or maybe we're just too damn lazy to lug a camera out. Most of the things we need to say to each other are said in hand written letters. (despite my disgusting handwriting) The feeling I get when he hands me a folded piece of paper is quite amazing. It's all I can do to stop myself from jumping around like a lunatic because it makes me so happy. :D
It's quite silly I guess and I don't know what's the purpose of all these words. Reading a friend's tumblr kinda got me a little off-balanced and all these feelings kind of spilled over.
I just needed to get that out. All is well in Nessa land, really. :)
It's been more than a month since Terrance disappeared to Canada land. Honestly, when I stop and think, I can't help but ask "WTF IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH?!?!?!!?!?! IT FEELS LIKE FRICKIN FOREVER!" And honestly, it really does seem feel like forever.
But I'm waiting still. I'm waiting and feeling like all I can do is wait.
He is definitely coming back and he isn' t going to be gone for that long and I know all of that. I know I have it better than the couples who are separated for several years but that doesn't diminish my longing a single bit, doesn't make me any less insecure or paranoid and it doesn't mean my feelings are any less justified.
Generally, I am okay. Don't be foolish enough to think for one single second that I do not miss Terrance. I do, I do all the time. (I will chuck something hard at anyone who asks that ridiculous question.) But I am okay. The thing is, sometimes people unexpectedly say something that amplify his absence. Like today, it was my niece's one year birthday celebration at my brother's place and my brother asked me where Terrance was. (and for some reason calling him Lawrence at first. I don't know why but both my Mom and Brother have called him that. Adding to the hilarity, my second brother heard it as FLORENCE. O.o what is wrong with my family!?)
At that moment, I was more peeved that my brother had gotten Terrance's name wrong but much later, I began to really feel his absence. I don't know why but I guess the last time it was my niece's first month, he was there too but this time he isn't cos he is in dear old Canada.
The thing about Terrance is that he generally doesn't plaster his Love all over facebook or anywhere else for that matter. We barely have any photos together and those we do, we hide them somewhere in secret and they never see the light of day. :D Actually, we don't take photos when we're out together. I don't know why, especially with me being the world's greatest camwhore. But mostly, taking photos seem out of place or maybe we just never got into the habit or maybe we're just too damn lazy to lug a camera out. Most of the things we need to say to each other are said in hand written letters. (despite my disgusting handwriting) The feeling I get when he hands me a folded piece of paper is quite amazing. It's all I can do to stop myself from jumping around like a lunatic because it makes me so happy. :D
It's quite silly I guess and I don't know what's the purpose of all these words. Reading a friend's tumblr kinda got me a little off-balanced and all these feelings kind of spilled over.
I just needed to get that out. All is well in Nessa land, really. :)
♥
9:16 PM.